Needing a change but don’t know where to go from here?

Have you have come to a realization that you are not happy in your life, and this might be in areas such as your job or career, your home life, work-life balance, health, self-esteem and confidence levels, etc? Maybe it’s been pressing on your mind to do something about it, or you might be so overwhelmed by it that you just don’t know what to do.

Sometimes we just get so caught up in the essence of our circumstances that it becomes hard to see a way out, or even how we might ‘change’ things. This consuming pressure can cloud our judgment, lower our self-confidence, cause us to doubt ourselves and our abilities, and even bring on the symptoms of depression. For many people, hitting that mid-life crisis is an uncomfortable time where they start to question the what- who- where-when and why’s of personal experience; and more often than not, the questions remain unanswered because we don’t know how to address them.

It's only when we can consciously take a step back and regain our focus that we are able to take control and make or influence changes. When we have room to breathe and a clear head we can sit down and plan the way forward. This is your starting point and it also helps to understand your situation a bit more by breaking it down into achievable goals.

Let’s look at how to define a personalized vision for what we want in dealing with our circumstances, so we can make that much needed ‘change’.

Step1: “What do I really want?”

This is where we work out exactly what is important enough to drive us to personal change. To begin with, take a short time collecting your thoughts and gaining focus on the task ahead. Think about an experience or a place that has been significant for your life, a moment in time where you felt happy, confident, in control of your circumstances. What did that feel like? Take each of your 5 senses and question how that moment was in relation to the sense. The senses are very powerful when it comes to imagination, and the feelings can be quite realistic when we think back and recall sensory imagery.

Step2: Give a short description of your vision

Now imagine you have achieved what you really want to achieve, e.g. you would live where you would like to live, or you have the relationships you want to have. Don't think whether this vision is 'realistic' or 'achievable', just go along with it, as this exercise adds to the focus in creating goals for your end result.

If you are the person in your vision, where would you be?

What material things would you possess?

What personal relationships would you have?

What would be your working conditions?

What would be a typical behaviour of yours?

What skills would you have (that you do not have now)?

What would be your values?

What would be your contribution to the world around you?

Step3: “What are my values now?”

Look at the following list of values. If some that are important are missing, feel free to add them. Circle ten values that are most important to you from the list below. Then score out five of the selected values, leaving five that are more important to you. Now score out another two, leaving only three.


Accountability	Freedom	Nature	Skills
Adventure	Freedom from Fear	Openness	Spirituality
Beauty	Friendship	Order	Stability
Challenge	Health	Peace	Status
Change	Hobbies	Personal growth	Team Work
Charity	Home	Personal relationships	Time
Community	Honour	Power	Truth
Competence	Independence	Privacy	Wealth
Creativity	Influence	Professional Growth	Wisdom
Culture	Inner Harmony	Public Service
Democracy	Intellectual Status	Purity
Ecology	Job Security	Quality of Relations
Economic stability	Joy	Quality of what I do
Education	Knowledge	Recognition
Efficiency	Leadership	Religion
Ethical behaviour	Love and Affection	Responsibility
Fame	Loyalty	Security
Family	Masculinity	Self-Esteem
Fast Living	Meaningfulness	Self-Respect
Femininity	Money	Serenity

Step4: Look at the remaining three values and answer the following questions for each value.

What do they mean to you?

How would your life change if you practiced this value?

Does the organization you are working in support this value:

YES

If no, how should it change?

Are you ready to choose a life that is based on these values?

YES

The above questions are generic enough so you can apply them to most situations, but you should now be well on your way to defining how you want to make changes.

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Last Updated on Tuesday, 15 June 2010 00:36

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